Archive for the ‘Authors’ Category
Your Recent Visit from the Monkey God
Friday, February 13th, 2009
Supposedly–this is what people are saying, anyway–you, meaning you specifically, the reader of this piece, have been visited by the Monkey God some time in the last six weeks or so. I don’t know what he did to you.
You probably wouldn’t have seen him, but if you did, you might not have realized it at the time. It’s true that his traditional form is a Tibetan macaque wearing an ornate, six-tiered golden crown studded with big, fat pearls and always askew. He also often wears random items of clothing that look like they were shoplifted without regard to style or color, but when visiting people he’s more likely to be a vague form seen from the corner of the eye, or an old lady with a face very much like a monkey’s, or a slightly ribald street performer. Regardless, you will know him by his works.
If there was something you were very serious about and set on, something you planned out and prepared for carefully but that went completely haywire at the last minute due to some completely random interruption, that was probably the visit. Alternatively, it may have been something bizarre and painful that happened out of the blue.
The Monkey God particularly enjoys irony, mixing things that aren’t usually supposed to go together (like librarians and roosters, for instance), and violating expectations. He generally visits people, but occasionally spends time screwing things up for other animals, particularly pets.
The reason I tell you this is that the Monkey God loves you, and for various reasons (honestly, I think it’s just that he’s uncomfortable with these kinds of conversations) he probably won’t tell you about it himself. He expects you to step back from your situation, see how ludicrous it is, laugh, gain new perspective on your life, and understand that it was all for you own good, which frankly (and I’ve told him this in prayer scroll after prayer scroll, but I’m not even convinced he picks up his mail) is a little much to ask, if you want my opinion.
Sorry to interrupt your day with this. Hope that was useful to know about. And I get the impression that he’s planning a return trip, so hold onto your hat and try to keep a sense of humor. I know I will be.
This story is related to Luc’s Delayed Appearance of the Monkey God, but not to Daniel Braum’s Boon of the Monkey God. There’s a story behind that, but it’s not very interesting, so I’ll leave it out.
The Truant’s Tale
Thursday, February 12th, 2009
“You walked away,” said the tracker, putting his big boots and skinny ankles up on the desk. “Broke your apprentice contract with just months to go.”
“Yep,” said Eyve Aerial. “So?”
“So, I want to know why. So does the Central Square Sorceress. She says you were her best student.”
“What’s it matter? You found me. You’re going to take me back.”
He waved his hand like a leaf fluttering down. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do.”
She figured this was some game he was playing; she wasn’t sure she had the patience to see what it was.
“I’m good at knowing why people do what they do. That tells me what they’re going to do next.” He stared at something on the toe of his shoe. “With you, I never figured out why, so your what-nexts never made sense. So it took six months instead of six days to catch you.”
“Time flies,” said Eyve Aerial, “You know, tempus fugit…”
A year later, she came back. The timeslip spell had faded enough that he’d stood up. Another three months, he’d reached the door. He blinked his eyes slowly as sunset; he probably wouldn’t understand her if she spoke and she hadn’t found an answer yet anyway.
Another year, and Eyve Aerial, returned to the scaffolding-palace that was the Central Square Sorceress’ headquarters, made amends, did her penance, and resumed her journeywomanship.
The tracker showed up one morning, trailing cobwebs as he strode across the creaking plywood.
“Maybe you don’t know why you left anymore than I do,” he said, the drawl in his voice showing he was still a bit behind time. “Maybe that’s why you came back. To figure it out.”
“I knew exactly why,” she said. “When I figured out that the nightmares were premonitions, that I was supposed to become some grand metropolitan wizardess who did all kinds of good things, but couldn’t stop this one last, huge evil thing from happening.”
“So why risk resuming your studies?” he said. “What’s different?”
“You,” said Eyve Aerial. “If I’m going to be powerful enough to do the things I’ve seen, I should be able to keep myself from getting into impossible situations, unless some part of me wants to fail.” She tossed the tracker a gold coin. “I’m hiring you to spot that part of me, to know why it wants to destroy everything before it does.”
Eyve Aerial’s appeared a few times before, in The Courier’s Tale, The Apprentice’s Tale, and The Sorceress’s Tale.