In Answer to Your E-mail

by Luc Reid

Dear K,

Wow, that’s a lot to respond to. I’ll take it item by numbered item.

1) If he is, I haven’t noticed. Still the usual number of legs, etc. The cameras haven’t picked anything up, either.

2-4) Ha! Yeah, nice try. I’m still alive, though.

5) For the love of Christ! Listen, I hate to be pushy, but for the last time, they’re staying! What would happen to all the kids if we got rid of them? Do you think they’d be able to defend themselves? Remember what happened last time? Not to mention, the expense would be obscene. I know you have that whole thing with the gold, but we don’t even know if that will work, and anyway, we should probably save it for an emergency. I’m sorry about the stained clothing, but just wear old stuff when you go there, OK? Or a raincoat, right? I mean, it’s not like they’ll notice!

6) Thursday, or Friday at the latest. Assuming there is a Friday.

7) Oh, she turned out to be a bitch, so I had to dump her. I tried at the library, figuring she wouldn’t be able to make a scene there, but holy god did she! They revoked my library card. I don’t care what you say: next time I’m using Twitter.

8 ) The end of all life in the universe.

I guess that’s all for now. Stay under the tarp when you can, and don’t forget about the alarms. Keep the faith, my friend. Keep the faith.

– K