Advice for Dreamers in Dreams

by Kat Beyer

1.  When the woman in the red coat offers you bread, accept.

2.  When trying to outrun a monster, consider turning to ask it what it wants. While sometimes it may eat you in reply, often it will desire a simple item such as a clean handkerchief, a pomander, or even an answer to a question, for example, “Why am I chasing you?” The author, once chased by a giant crab, discovered upon inquiry that it was feeling quite sorry for itself, as no one had given it a present for its birthday.

3.  Always listen to animals bearing messages, especially those in loud waistcoats.

4.  Just about any person, creature, vegetable, item of furniture, or machine can represent your father or mother, particularly if you got landed with an obnoxious or useless specimen of parenthood; the important thing is take a firm line with your subconscious and not allow any “therapy dreams” to become boring.

5.  If you haven’t flown in your dreams, you are missing quite a treat; ask someone for lessons. Trustworthy teachers: dragons of proven character; women who live in caves full of candles; and (provided, of course, that their hearts are visible and whole) people who are already flying.