On October 1234 OC., Mr. Woe's leg presented itself at the Newstalk
Police Station to denounce Mr. Woe for alleged mistreatment of an
extremity and improper walk without wages, resulting in two lost toes
due to frostbite.

Mr Woe, who was himself along for the ride, dismissed the accusations
as "fabulations" and told the police that "he was damned if his leg
was going to tell him what to do".

Mr Woe is a professional mountain climber, internationally known for
his speed, as well as for his disregard for the safety of
his Sherpas and body-parts. The limb reported that it was only after
being forced to keep going without food and half-frozen on Mr. Woe's last
climb to the Everest, that it decided to breach its lifelong contract
with William Woe.

At the close of this edition, the Court had not yet called a date for
the hearing, although sources claim the State prosecutor may decide to
bring a case against Mr. Woe.

"A leg has rights," the state prosecutor allegedly said in a private
family gathering on Monday, while massaging a sore toe.

Leg's attorneys have said that the Leg doesn't plan to settle outside
of court and that it wants to bring Mr. Woe to justice. They've also
informed this reporter that they are in the middle of
negotiations with Mr. Woe's Sherpas in the hopes of agreeing on the terms of a
joint law-suit against Mr. Woe.