Hey Marty,

This is kind of crazy, but I think the new tenants in 3C are mad scientists. I can’t prove it, but I’ve made a list of things that I have noticed lately. Tell me what you think.

• I bumped into Velma (that’s the wife) in the hall. She complimented me on my sense of decoration. They have never been inside my apartment.
• Ben, the husband, wears goggles all the time.
• I never hear them having sex.
• There is now a giant robot head stuck in the stairwell between the second and third floor. No idea where that came from.
• Their mailbox is always full of Sharper Image catalogs. And nothing else.
• Their cat shoots laser beams out of its eyes.  I saw it kill a pigeon on the fire escape while I was having a smoke.
• They drive a zeppelin. It’s moored to the top of the building. Is that even legal?

Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but the last couple in 3C turned out to worship some kind of giant squid. It took forever to mop up the slime after they skipped town.

--Hank