Dear Diary I
by SaraG
Dear Diary,
I caught a little god today running through the back yard and I grabbed it by the foot and I swung it against a rock and its skull cracked, but Momma saw me and wouldn’t let me eat its brains because they fetch 5000 calories in the swindler’s market, she said.
She tried to swap me my little god for a chocolate bar but chocolate is for babies and I said no. Fine, she says, two chocolates, and I said three and then she smacked me on the head and took my little god! It’s not fair. I hate her! I’ll hate her forever! I hate the swindler’s market and I’m never going to talk to her again, ever.
Postcard from the Near Bank of the River Styx
by Luc Reid
Hi Greg,
Waiting for the ferry, thought I’d write a postcard. Lots to see here! This old guy with no penny says October is the nicest time to come, because not so many tourists. Tomorrow I cross into the afterlife and am looking forward to meeting Jane Austen.
How are you? I hear you got a little banged up, but I guess the alcohol dulled the pain, huh, Mr. High Margarita tolerance? Bet you didn’t know that I’m going to have that piece of windshield embedded in my chest for eight hundred years unless I can afford surgery (and they don’t take my health plan here).
Enjoy the living world. Wish you were here–instead of me, you bastard.
Lisa