A Reliable Man

by Jonathan Wood

I look at the dead man and try to make up my mind. Callie’s still at the entrance to the alleyway telling me to get back there, that it’s too cold a night to play boy scout, that I’m gonna get myself mugged. She stamps her feet and the echoes play down the walls.

I didn’t drink anything tonight. Callie’s pregnant. It’s getting uncomfortable for her to drive and I’m doing the gentlemanly thing. So I’m sober. My eyes aren’t playing tricks.

But the man has… I mean… The man has wings. He’s lying face down, his bloody shirt ripped away from the body. I see where the flesh and muscle bind in his back. I reach down and touch them. Those are real feathers. Those are real wings. Real goddamn wings.

People don’t have wings.

I mean, Jesus, that’s something you can rely on, right? That people don’t have wings. That is a fundamental truth. There’s not much you can say, I am certain of this, one hundred percent, but that’s one: people don’t have wings.

Except this guy.

What if I call Callie to come see? What if I call the press? Even if people see this, even if this is real, they won’t believe me. Because people don’t have wings. Only the crazies, only the guys rejecting their meds and reality will believe me. I’ll be crazy.

I stare at the body and try to make up my mind. Callie is shouting at me. Callie’s pregnant. We’re going to have a little girl.

I keep on staring at the body, ignoring Callie for just a little while. I keep on staring until I can believe the truth again. People don’t have wings. And then I walk away.

Bed Time

by Edd

First, you should floss and brush your teeth really well. And wash your face. Here’s your towel. Yes, that looks like the perfect nightgown to wear.

Do your clothes go on the floor? No, I don’t think so; I think they belong in the laundry hamper.

Thank you. Now climb into bed. No bouncing!

Okay, maybe just a little bouncing.

Yes, I like to bounce, too, but I might break the bed.

Okay, I’ll bounce, too, but just a little bit.

Oops.

I’m sorry about your bed, but isn’t it just as much fun to be in your sleeping bag on the floor? I think so, too.

Stretch out and I’ll pull up the top of it just right. Do your feet go on the pillow? I don’t think so; that’s where your head goes.

Do you want some music like usual? Okay, there you go. Give me a kiss on the cheek, and here’s one for you.

Why yes, the music is very nice. It makes me want to dance.

Let’s dance!

Watch me stomp!

Oops.

Isn’t our basement nice? It’s a good thing we have all these comfortable boxes down here to land on. Now let’s not bounce any more. Let’s not stomp any more.

It’s time for bed. I’ll turn off the light now.

Wait, did we do everything? Let me think: floss, brush, gown, hamper, bounce, oops, pillow, music, kiss, dance, stomp, oops, light. Yes, I believe we remembered everything.

Of course we remembered everything. Elephants are very good at remembering

Good night, sweetheart.