Archive for the ‘Authors’ Category
Lizard People
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
“Dad, the lizard people are staring at Timmy again.” Elle pointed outside. Timmy was playing under the azaleas. Across the street the lizard family stood in their living room, pressed up against the window.
“Lassie! Is Timmy in trouble?”
“Dad. Don’t do that.”
“They’re not staring at Timmy. They are just looking out at the world with wild surmise, or something. They are to be wondered at, not feared.”
“If you really feel that way,” Elle said, “invite them over for dinner.”
Her father took out his phone. “Good idea! I’m glad you’re feeling so open-minded.”
Elle face palmed. “Dad, no! I was joking. Sarcasm, you know? Don’t invite them over! They’ll eat Timmy, or … have bad table manners.” She hated it when Dad rolled his eyes.
—
Elle was on Facebook when she heard the doorbell. She looked out the window: the lizard people were at the front door! She started typing furiously.
“Elle! Dinner!” The lizard people were already at the dining room table when she came downstairs. Elle sat across from the older lizard kid. She said her name was Mary Sue.
“Pleased to meet you,” Elle gritted out.
“Would you like some broccoli?” Elle’s mother offered a bowl of broccoli and cheese sauce to the lizard woman.
“Of course she doesn’t, Mom,” Elle hissed. “Lizards are purely carnivorous.”
“Excuse me,” the lizard woman said, “that’s not strictly true. Many of our relatives subsist exclusively on fruits or vegetables. But broccoli gives me gas.”
And so it went. Elle’s father prattled on about harmony between human and lizard kind and how we would have so much to learn from each other. Timmy and the lizard boy both played with their food. Elle asked to be excused as soon as she dared. Her mother “invited” Mary Sue to go with her to her room. It was better than staying.
Elle didn’t usually have anyone in her room. Most of her friends, even the ones who lived in town, only saw each other on social media. So her room was a little… messy, even for a teenage girl.
“Sorry about the mess,” she mumbled.
“No problem,” Mary Sue said. “Sorry your mom made you bring me up here.” Elle shrugged. Then Mary Sue’s eyes went wide. “Green Day! A poster? Is it signed!?” She clasped her hands over her heart.
“My cousin snuck me in. She works security at the Civic Center. It was awesome!.” Maybe this was going to be all right. “You guys don’t… eat people or anything, do you?”
“Never anyone we know personally.”
End
Chipping Day
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010
Lorna and Matthew chose the Saturday before Easter. She thought it was romantic to imagine their union in close proximity to a time of renewal and growth. He was glad their anniversary would be a date he could remember.
“Do you, Lorna?” and “Do you, Matthew?” and “You may now kiss your spouses,” and the hard part was done. The guests sat back down as the chipping tech stepped forward.
“Lorna,” he said. “Being from out of state, you may choose not to be chipped.”
“No,” she said. “Oh no, that’s why I moved here. If Matthew’s got to have one, then so do I.” She clutched her husband’s arm. “We’re in this together.”
“I understand.” The tech presented a waiver for her to sign, then pulled a palmtop from his pocket. “You should sit down; this can be very disorienting.”
Lorna sat in the first row, next to her mother. “I thought there was an actual chip. You know, something you put in my brain?”
He tapped at the virtual keyboard above his hand. “It’s all wireless these days; we just load the new parameters into your google.” His palmtop emitted a friendly chime. “Now think the words ‘Accept Marriage Chip’ so your brain won’t treat it as malware.” Her mother patted Lorna’s hand awkwardly as her eyes went blank for a moment.
“Okay,” said the tech when she sat up straighter. He turned to Matthew. “Your turn.”
He’d said ‘I do’. He’d said ‘until death’. Here it was, the program that would ensure their love would last. Matthew bit his lip, then sat next to his bride and waited to live happily ever after.