Archive for the ‘Authors’ Category
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Monday, September 27th, 2010
L5O (UWN). – Cosmologists at L5 Observatory reported new calculations of the fate of the universe. It turns out the end is near. Click for more.
>> Comparatively speaking. Scientific estimates of the remaining lifetime of the universe have been reduced from 260 trillion years (plus or minus 55 trillion) to a scant 82 trillion plus or minus 17 trillion. Results are based on assessment of density of dark matter in a randomly selected 0.5% of the visible universe. Professor Llongo Zawekki is senior researcher at the Equatorial Cosmographic Institute on Platform Mbelo: “New methods of quantifying the density of matter between L5 and distant bright objects allow rapid calculation of a much more accurate estimate of time remaining.” Click for more.
UpToTheMomentNews reported a few moments ago that in a European Institutes of News study published moments ago at pollsters.com 62% of respondents reported clicking “click for more” “never or rarely.” Click for more.
PanicinDetroit.com. PiD brings word of an alarming trend sweeping the globe since 14 minutes ago. Suicides up. Click for more.
Billboardsmocked.com. Ads warning that short attention spans kill are verbose, study finds.
@infrastructure world-record # of #bridges closed by jumpers. #ERcrowding worsens. #selfharm
@firstrespondernet Suicide uptick of this a.m. continues, hits hand-held users worst. Clik 4 mor.
@globalmoola Stocks tumble. Sh!t hits fan. Regulators: where were they? Clik 4 mor.
Crow Guide
Friday, September 24th, 2010
Doreen tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear and licked her lips. She had never seen the Martian tarot before. For that matter, she had never been this close to a real-live Martian. But she had to know what was in store now that her guide was gone.
The creature placed the first card on the table. The painting was composed of dots, but no pattern emerged no matter how she squinted. The Martian pinched the next card’s corner with three spatulate fingertips, turned it over. Another pointilist nonlandscape.
“Fate, the inevitable. Also, subterfuge.” Doreen didn’t know what this meant. She turned her head. Looking at the card with just one eye didn’t seem to help.
“What position does that take?” she quavered.
“Behind you, of course,” it muttered, placing the card beneath the first. She looked quickly over her shoulder. Nothing. She shook herself, nodded quickly for the next card.
This one was predominantly blue and green, but no more interpretable than the first two. “The moons.” Doreen was beginning to feel bloated.
Another card. A whole range of pale shades, but no white. “The sea.” Doreen bobbed her head nervously. Her arms trembled. She opened her mouth to speak, closed it with a snap.
Card. “Pathways, in search.” This one looked like a photorealistic painting of a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. But the meatballs were … wrong. They had legs tucked up beneath them, and eyes. Doreen could no longer sit still. She hopped up on the seat, shuffled her feet, fluttered her arms.
Card. “Release, equanimity.” Mountain peaks stood up before the stars. A bird flapped heavily in front of two small moons. Doreen scratched behind her ear with her foot.
Card. “Disclosure, a return.” A shove, and the chair landed on its back in a puff of dust.
The end