Archive for the ‘Authors’ Category
Father Time
Wednesday, December 1st, 2010
Once there was a man who realized the days of his life were finite. Unlike others, he decided to do something about it and so paid a visit to Father Time. Back then you could speak to Father Time if you moved in the right circles.
“Father Time,” he said to the greyness, “will you add more days to my life?”
“No,” said Father Time in a faded voice. “But I can lengthen the days.”
“That will do,” said the man. So with his lengthened days the man went on to build giant robots, huge armadas, a vast empire. But soon the man realized he had very few days left, so he went again to Father Time. Back then you could speak to Father Time a second time if you paid the right bribes.
“Father Time,” he said to the crumbling mountains. “Will you again lengthen the days of my life?”
“No,” said Father Time in the voice of the tide. “But I can lengthen the hours.”
“That will do,” said the man. With those lengthened hours he accomplished more: he carved monuments, composed anthems, designed cities. But soon the man realized he had very few hours left, so he went again to Father Time. Back then you could speak to Father Time a third time if you sacrificed the right people.
“Father Time,” he said to the hourglass. “Will you again lengthen the hours of my life?”
“No,” said Father Time in a fleeting voice. “But I can lengthen the minutes.”
“Very well,” said the man. So with those lengthened minutes he did even more: rewrote DNA, split the quark, warped space. But now he had almost no time left at all. “Oh, Father Time,” he cried out, for once you have seen Father Time three times you are old friends with each other’s name in your rolodex, “my time is almost up. Will you again lengthen the minutes remaining to me?”
“No,” said Father Time in a distant voice. “But I can help you know what you should do with the time remaining.”
“That will do,” said the man. So Father Time showed him Death, for the power of Death is to concentrate the mind on what you most fervently needed to accomplish. The man looked into the end and then he knew what he must do.
But now he had no time left at all.
Testing Ground
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Rucker:
As you may be aware, Santa Clara County is conducting a series of above-ground atomic bomb tests in our effort to defend ourselves against the invasion of forces from San Francisco. These tests began two years ago when Oakland destroyed the Bay Bridge and San Francisco’s navy proved unequal to mounting an assault across San Francisco Bay. San Francisco then turned their attention south toward San Jose, provoking our military to explore the nuclear defense option. After considering many factors including environmental, strategic, economic, and impact on residents, the site selection committee has chosen the 5200 block of Merit Avenue as the best candidate site.
This letter is to inform you that your house (identified as Tax Parcel No. 5480035017) was chosen as the site of the test. The County of Santa Clara, California hereby claims your property under the right of eminent domain so that this test may be conducted.
The County of Santa Clara will reimburse your family the current tax assessed value of your home and reasonable moving expenses if you choose to remain in the county. We anticipate that you will have questions about this purchase, and will be pleased to discuss the particulars with you. Ms. Beverley Allele will be your point of contact with Santa Clara County, and can be reached at the number below.
By the way, should you choose to remain within the city of San Jose, we recommend you avoid North Loganberry Way.
Yours truly,
Leopold Budden
County Assessor’s Office