Archive for November, 2010
More Server Trouble at the Cabal
Thursday, November 18th, 2010
Hi–
We’ve had another server crash/spontaneous reset. Apparently, the one we had last week wasn’t the fluke we’d thought it was.
If you’re reading the Cabal via an RSS reader, you probably already know something’s up, since the crash set all our stockpiled future stories to publishing right away. Our apologies for the sudden flood of stories.
We’re working on ways to lock down our future stories, so that, even if the server goes wonky again, it won’t result in story-spam.
Thanks for bearing with us,
Rudi
Reset
Wednesday, November 17th, 2010
Someday you may wish to reset your life. A tree falls, leaves your daughter paralyzed from the waist down. You forward the wrong email to your boss and are subsequently fired. While hunting you accidentally shoot your best friend, killing him. Such events are not as uncommon as we hope.
To reset, follow these directions.
1. To prepare your reset point, go to a soundless place and remember a day when things were still as they should be. Write out a complete description of that day. Leave out nothing. The two seconds of arousal when the charming neighbor greeted you, the half-second of formless panic when you thought you had forgotten the gift. Such details are essential.
2. With description in hand, leave your home at sundown and travel on foot to the nearest crossroads. Speak to no one. Minimize contact with metal. When you arrive, sit in the center of the crossroads and wait. Think only of your goal. Try not to move.
3. At midnight the universe’s first intermediary will arrive, recognizable by white-feathered wings, a halo, and a golden harp. This intermediary will offer, in a voice of gravel and thorns, to restore the universe to the desired point in exchange for your soul. Refuse. While soulless people live perfectly normal lives, this option will not allow changes. Your life will begin again, but you’ll be unable to alter events, instead repeating them.
4. At 3am, the second intermediary will appear, equipped with hooves, small horns, and a pointed tail. With a voice soft as the ocean wind it will offer you comfort for how things are. Refuse. While an improvement over the first offer, it will not correct the past. You will instead accept the unfortunate developments as immutable.
5. When dawn arrives, read your description of the day aloud in full, then wait. The universe might manifest as a robin in the grass, a sudden rainstorm, or a policewoman in her patrol car. Explain to the universe what has gone wrong in your life, then give the description of the day to it. Close your eyes and wait. Your life will reset to the desired day.
Troubleshooting
This procedure can fail if your description is incomplete. Without a full detailing, the universe will not be able to reset your life. If this happens, then you must start again.