Plugs

Jonathan Wood’s story “Notes on the Dissection of an Imaginary Beetle” from Electric Velocipede 15/16 is available online.

Jason Erik Lundberg‘s fiction is forthcoming from Subterranean Magazine and Polyphony 7.

Trent Walters, poetry editor at A&A, has a chapbook, Learning the Ropes, from Morpo Press.

Read Daniel Braum’s story Mystic Tryst at Farrgo’s Wainscot #8.

The Last Log Entries at the Philadelphia Office of the Centers for Happiness Control

by Luc Reid

+0 Days
Outbreak of Happiness, probably variant 115, reported in an insurance sales office and adjoining Ethiopian restaurant near Baltimore Avenue at Springfield. Victims have been quarantined and premises are being burned to prevent further spread. We expect full recovery of all affected individuals and an end of this incident within a few days, when the Happiness has run its course.

+1 Days
Three separate reports of Happiness in immediate vicinity, apparently contracted and spread by looters who broke into the restaurant during the early stages of the fire. Two victims have been collected and successfully quarantined, but one is still loose.

Affected individuals in quarantine are showing unusually severe symptoms, including embracing, vivacity, and in those most badly affected, dancing.

+2 Days
Fourteen confirmed reports throughout West and South Philadelphia, and numerous unconfirmed. This strain appears to be new after all and is proving especially virulent, with symptoms now including laughter until weak, cheek-kissing, acrobatic feats, and in one case spontaneous dissolution of an inoperable brain tumor. We have dubbed this new strain “variant 206.”

News reports have created a state of panic. A state of emergency has been declared and the National Guard mobilized.

+3 Days
Happiness now running rampant through Philadelphia, with confirmed cases of variant 206 as far afield as Baltimore, Detroit, and southern Connecticut. Civil order has broken down: uncountable grudges have been ended, stately areas have been decorated with flagrantly unseemly colors, and dancing is now everywhere. Epidemic control personnel have taken to the street in Happiness-proof suits and are attempting to stop the spread of the disease with flamethrowers.

+4 Days
Happiness-proof suits appear to be ineffective against 206; flamethrowers have been co-opted for marshmallow roasting. Cases now being reported throughout the United States and in 16 foreign countries. We have barricaded ourselves in the cafeteria and are holding off the pestilential carnival that has erupted outside using medical-grade automatic weapons. We may not last much longer.

+5 Days
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