Plugs

David Kopaska-Merkel’s book of humorous noir fiction based on nursery rhymes, Nursery Rhyme Noir 978-09821068-3-9, is sold at the Genre Mall. Other new books include The zSimian Transcript (Cyberwizard Productions) and Brushfires (Sams Dot Publishing).

Jonathan Wood’s story “Notes on the Dissection of an Imaginary Beetle” from Electric Velocipede 15/16 is available online.

Jason Erik Lundberg‘s fiction is forthcoming from Subterranean Magazine and Polyphony 7.

Jason Fischer has a story appearing in Jack Dann’s new anthology Dreaming Again.

Embalmer

by SaraG

Butler scampered through the brush, zigzagging to avoid the slingshots. A sharp pebble nicked his ear and blood trickled down his neck. A mistake? He didn’t think so.

The villagers were getting nervous. He knew he shouldn’t count on the hour that the law gave an embalmer to escape before he could be hunted down. The corpse had been a young girl’s–emotions were running high. They’d begun play-shooting with their slings only seconds after he’d been paid. He suspected they’d unholster their lasguns soon.

He hid behind a tree and peered out. He hoped the pay was enough to make this worthwhile. He hadn’t had time to check the purse before they’d started to shoot.

It was bad luck to cheat an embalmer and the family was usually generous. Why else would anyone risk their lives to embalm a corpse?

The next stone nipped the bark. No use avoiding the slings when the lasguns were due. He swore and tore off in a straight line. The money bag swung against his chest.

There!, the river. He dove in without thinking and let the current take him through the rapids, away from the villagers and their lasguns.

He was dumped unceremoniously into the Triptican lake. It took him a second to realize that he had surfaced. He was breathing. Lying on his back, he pedaled towards the shore.

Butler opened the pouch. Instead of money, he found a stone. It was round. Tendrils of gold were set into the carvings. He read the history of a family, in the stone. On the side, filigree letters spoke an ode to the death of the only daughter.

He laughed madly. The old man had placed his family-stone in the purse. He had to be mad! This stone represented the old man’s family honour. Butler could use it to get money for credit and the stone
would testify for his honesty.

He stopped laughing abruptly, and felt a pang of guilt. It was too much. The law required fair compensation, but not this. For a second, he thought of giving it back. But the lasguns would be legal now. He got up, dusted the stone reverently with his hand and went home.

End

One Response to “Embalmer”

  1. Daniel Braum Says:

    November 27th, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    Fun stuff. Makes me want to see more of this word.